I have a crush on a man that lives in my apartment building. We first met on September 11, 2008. I remember it was September 11th because I was wearing a 9/11 t-shirt, and he commented on it. He lives on the 7th floor and stares and smiles at me when we ride the elevator together. I admitted to myself that I had this crush last Wednesday, when he smiled at me in the parking lot. And since I've admitted this, I haven't ran into him.
It's hard for me to admit this, because I fell in love last year. He moved eight hours away, and the "relationship" became a challenge to me. I tried 110% to have that man fall in love with me, but I wasn't good enough. I wasn't what he wanted. I had to fall out of love, and I became very depressed. It's been two months since I haven't been in love with him, and I'm okay. Really. Jackie wasn't happy that I visited him a few weeks ago, but he's one of my best friends. The friendship remains a little bit unilateral, I would say. I feel as though I cherish him more than he cherishes me. But that's how it goes, I suppose. I still have a few lingering questions that remain with him, but I'm afraid to ask.
I'm in two weddings this year, and am invited to at least one other. The first is the wedding of Angela and Ross next month. I'm the only single person in the wedding party, and it feels awkward. I don't have a date for the wedding, and I'm afraid I'll be crying because of happiness and loneliness at the ceremony.
MacKenzie and Kevin ("MacKevin") just recently got engaged around Easter. Their wedding is this summer. I'll be partnered with a boy/man that I grew up with; he lived across the street from me. He's engaged, too.
Finally, Seva and Alex will be getting married in the fall. Their relationship certainly gives me hope for true love.
I work tonight. That's all I ever do.
